It’s just a…bee.
I have never really had a lot of fears. I like to be adventurous. Try things. Do things. Go places.
There is one thing, however, that I don’t like at all. Actually, a few things. Those would include: bees, wasps, hornets, or anything with a stinger.
I have no idea why I have this fear, because the more I think about it, the more I think it is very unjustifiable.
For instance, I am not allergic and never had a reaction. And I have been stung. Plenty of times. Living in the country offered many opportunities for me to get stung. And I usually took advantage of such opportunities.
I have been stung in between the toes while walking in the grass (I was wearing flip-flops) I have been stung in the stomach, which is not a great place to get stung. And, just last year I was stung in the face, five times, by one very, very angry wasp.
We feel more pain at the dentist. Giving birth. Or tax time.
We’ve had all shots at some point at the doctor’s office too. We don’t like them, but we brace ourselves, feel the prick of the needle, and then we move on. Pretty much what happens when we get stung.
But, when I see a bee, or a wasp near me, the fear takes hold. I can’t breathe, my stomach knots up, and I start looking for an escape route. A scream lodges in my throat (or sometimes it might actually make its way out). In a quick instant, my body tenses up as if I am afraid for my life. Soon after, I am sure to be seen running and waving my arms, ducking my head to protect myself from such a force of nature. A bee.
Yet, I have been known to stand outside in the middle of the road during a tornado hoping to get a picture, with my mom yelling at me to get inside. I know, I don’t get it either.
These emotions all take hold in a matter of seconds. There is no controlling it.
My insides shut down in fear.
So, imagine my terror when working in my home office, and I hear the buzz. Could it be? But, it’s winter time? I freeze. I try to follow the sound. Then I spot it near the window.
I jump up, papers go flying, calculator hits the floor and I run out the door, slamming it shut behind me as if a mountain lion is in the room and after me. Just a bee.
I run downstairs. My hair is now askew. I need help. I have deadlines, and my office is now under siege.
My husband just stares at me.
“There’s a bee. In my office.”
“Okay…” he replies. I stare back.
“A!” He hollers up to my son, who promptly appears at the stairway. “Help your mother.”
Within a couple of minutes my kids and I are tip-toeing up to the office.
Once in the office, we look around. We don’t see it. We don’t hear it.
“Mom, is this like that one time you thought you had a friend-“
“NO! It is not. And, she’s real.” My kids just look at me.
It took a couple more minutes, but the bee showed itself. Really it was a wasp. And, really, I don’t care. A stinger is a stinger.
The three of us ran screaming from the room. For no reason, the bee didn’t even do anything.
We went up again, this time armed with a broom and a can of hairspray. We got closer to the bee, spayed hairspray at it and aimlessly swung the broom. Considering we were several feet from the bee, we accomplished nothing. And, that ended with the three of us again running out of the room screaming. Perhaps this is not being a good role model for my children…
This happened three more times. We got close. We panicked. We ran. We went back. Got closer. Panicked. Ran out. You get the idea.
Finally, we did succeed. I really don’t know how, but between the hairspray and broom, we won. And, my office literally looks like a battle ground with papers everywhere. A direct result of swinging brooms.
Just hope that you are never near me when there is a bee. Or a wasp.
A snake? No problem. A spider? Not a big deal. Just please….no bees.
Posted on 02/29/2012, in Parenting, Truth is Stranger than Fiction, Uncategorized and tagged bee, bees, bug, bugs, crazy, fears, getting stung, hornets, humor, phobias, stingers, wasp, wasps. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.