When I was a kid, I was enamored by William Sleator. In fact, in third grade, I was picked as the representative from my class to go to a writer’s conference, where I also got to meet William Sleator. I had a copy of his book, Into a Dream, and he autographed it. I will never forget that day.
A year or so later, my dog ate the book.
Anyways, the reason for this post has nothing to do with William Sleator, the book, or the dog.
Lately, I have had some pretty wild dreams. And while they are all very different, the concept in the dream is always the same, which led me to the all-knowing Google to find out what that mean.
In one of the dreams, I am at the beach. Various members of my family are with me. Suddenly a tsunami hits, and water starts rising. We climb to the top of a building trying to find safety, while the water continues to rise.
I wake up before the water gets us.
A couple nights ago, I was at an outdoor mall of some sort. While walking through one of the “roads”, someone warns us that this road floods everyday at the same time and we only had about 10 minutes to get out before the flood came. For some reason, we couldn’t make it out in time, and we became trapped in the rising water. The water rose, taller than the buildings. My family and I became separated and I struggled to stay afloat. When the water receded I found my family members, except for one, and then I woke up. Terrified.
At first I thought, this must be the way I am going to die.
Then I figured- let’s be rational. Let’s google this.
From DreamMoods.com :
To dream that water is rising up in your house suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
To dream that a wall of water is coming towards you implies that your emotions are welling up and can potentially close you off to others.
A body of water rising over your head, or you being pulled under water, can represent a feeling of overwhelm in real life.
So there you have it. I am overwhelmed. Duh.
For those that know me, know my inner-conflict. I have moved five times in my adult life. Each time, I have never really looked back. In two weeks, I am moving again. But this time, I don’t want to.
I really feel like it is the perfect lose-lose situation for me.
I stay in South Carolina- I stay alone. My family, including husband and kids, are back in the Heartland of Ohio, having moved back six months ago.
I don’t want to stay anywhere without my family. But, I don’t want to leave South Carolina.
I drive down the now-familiar roads here everyday and feel sadness. I look at each house, each tree, each road sign, in an attempt to memorize it.
I go into the local grocery store and am overwhelmed by depression. I hear the southern accents, and I know I am leaving them for my regular old Giant Eagle I shopped at for years. I am leaving behind somewhere I have truly enjoyed living for two years.
Sure, I can come back and visit. But it won’t be the same. I can drive by my house, but it won’t be mine anymore. I can go into the grocery store, and hear those southern accents, but it will just make me sad. It will make me sad that I have been missing that.
I mean, it is what it is at this point. I am going back. Today, we had a showing on our house. Apparently someone else is interested in it. My house. Which, in two weeks, will no longer be mine.
I’ll miss driving by the park once a week as I head into town. I’ll miss the cotton fields as they light up the green earth with white. I’ll miss the daily dose of sunshine. I’ll miss the different way of life that is the south. Less “keeping up with the Jones’s” and more “waving at your neighbor as they sit on their rickety front porch drinking sweet tea”.
I’ll miss it. I’ll miss it badly.
When moving weekend comes, my husband will surely have to drag me out, kicking and screaming. I might even spread my arms and legs so I won’t fit through the door.
But, what can I do? As I said earlier, I don’t want to live alone…
The last two years were an adventure. A wonderful one. We lived among true southern culture. And I will be back.
I will not move to Myrtle Beach, or Charleston, or other tourist-trap towns. They aren’t the same.
I’ll live once again in a small, southern town, where people know how to slow down and enjoy life. Where people know what real-life values are, and should be.
I’ll miss you South Carolina~ but I’ll be back one day.